Three days ago, it was the second time I played basketball in my college after three years. It’s been a long time, I realized being dormant made my body rust. My movements were much slower than before, my reflexes were in a dismal form, and accuracy was off tangent… Just shows how slacking off can get deteriorate your form. But I realized one thing, my left eye's condition is deteriorating, I couldn’t see anyone or anything through the end of my left eye.

I was left exposed and people stole the ball from me from my left side and somehow it’s getting scarier because recently I bumped into people when they were right in front of me, I hit things without realizing it even when I thought I made enough distance from them. It’s really troublesome, having to go through all that.

The doctor said before that when I grow up, I’ll start noticing that I couldn’t use my left eye that much but I never knew it was going to be this bad. I’ve tried scouring the net for answers but no cure was available, I wanted to understand more about my innate disease but alas, it is futile. I couldn’t do a lot of things with my current condition, I couldn’t be a pilot, I couldn’t aim for the hoop that well (it’s always a wild guess every time I shoot) and I don’t think I can drive a car too (not that I’m into cars).

I always wished that I would get this cool cyborg-like eye, you know, the ones like The Terminator, I can zoom in, use infrared, night vision, x-ray stuff, but meh, it will always be a dream.

Well, the least I hoped for was being independent of glasses, it was one of the reason I stopped playing sports, the rate of replacing glass was just too high for my meager expenses to cope with and anyway, playing with the glasses on is just too annoying.

My sight would be limited to what my glasses can cover, the glasses will always fall off, then there’s this fear of your glasses breaking and being blind until you get a new one and the best part is, everyone thinks my eyes are normal.

They expect me to play like a normal person and it’s very tiring, having to explain over and over and over again to normal citizens who don’t know me and being sympathized and all. Some even insisted that I get used to it, which just makes me furious because they don’t even know a thing of what I’ve been through to HELP myself. They think it’s easy, they think that every human can get used to anything, flash news people, I’m as good as a Cyclops (not to be confused with the X-men character) or that pirate dude who wears a patch on his other eye.

It’s like hoping a legless guy to grow legs. Simply put, my chances of having a normal eye or even getting used to it is zero to none unless I become an instant billionaire and spend my life living on gene therapy (or so I think that’s the cure).

All this while, I just lived with it, I’ve never blamed anyone for this defect, just wished it never happened because I know that my life would be so much different had I not had this… weakness. I’ve been looking out for possible treatments, asking questions about it whenever I have the chance to speak to someone who might know something about it.

A dark realization grew in me, it tells me that I would just have to bear with it, that finding a cure for it is just futile, the end product is inevitable… useless. Guess just taking it in my stride in life is the best I can do for now.