I made progress!

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=SBM8KKH5

I'm working on a song (I guess you can call it a song) but the lyrics are cheesy, haha. Only problem I have now, is I can't sing and looking for someone to sing is not easy.

I'll work that out.

*Updated*
Raw recording of the song can be found here. This is only rhythm and bass though. Lead guitar and vocals will ensue sometime

http://www.mediafire.com/?nmmlmmehtxo

The irony of updating my blog with a somber post is dumb when my tagline is about optimism. What?

There are so many things I'd like to do in life, most of them being things people do easily.

Driving a car for instance, almost everyone knows how to drive one when they've finished school.

Me? I've been trying to figure out why I couldn't get myself to learn to drive one right after finishing high school. I used to use the excuse "I was born to have a driver to take me around" but that notion doesn't seem very practical now.

I guess it must be fear, I try my best not to blame my dysfunctional left eye but yeah my fear stems from that weakness I have. I'm scared of causing accidents just because I couldn't see things to my left and because I couldn't judge distances as good as a normal person. I don't know how close some things are or how far they might be. My friend say that happens because I've never driven a car before, I hope he's right.

Same thing goes about relationships, though I sweet talk to girls a lot just for fun but I've never been in a relationship. I do ask myself lots of times why am I not in one,

"am I too picky?",
"Am I too passive, never making the first move?",
"Do I fear rejection or do I fear the ramifications after rejection i.e. Talking to each other will be awkward"

I don't know if I'm too modest at times, letting go of chances simply by reasoning; I'm not good enough of a guy for her or she deserves someone better.

I have to admit that at times I am jealous of seeing other people in a relationship, heck my younger brother has been in three different relationships!

But what am I jealous of? I ask myself this too, I know the jealousy is there but of what? Being able to hold hands, or having someone to concentrate my sweet-talking to? Or am I jealous just because I don't have someone to call as "my girl"?

I wish I had a clear answer for these questions I have.

But all I can do right now is sigh.