Music is my life; My parents musical tastes have a direct influence to mine which is why the melodies and tunes I adore and listen to have always been labeled boring, slow, and old by my peers. The likes of Beatles, Bob Dylan, Johnny Cash, Led Zeppelin, Mark Knopfler, Eric Clapton, Zee Avi, Bing Crosby, Louis Armstrong and the likes have enriched my life to an extent that I wish to live during their era and even aspire to be them. But this has not always been the case, I have never listened to them before I entered college for I was busy listening to indie music which I prefer identifying myself with.

                My first exposure to a musical instrument was when my parents forced me to go for music lessons when I was 5 (or was it 6?). Nonetheless, I was a very nonchalant kid back then (for a good 10 years too) I cared nothing but myself. I never did really have that passion to learn the keyboard but I proceeded with the lessons until I was 11. You could say, I was never musically inclined (though I did repetitively sing “Michael Learns to Rock” and songs from “Now! That’s What I Call Music” CD everyday) I’ve never regarded anything highly, the world only revolved around me, friendship was something I never valued. I think this might be due to my family moving around so much that contributed to me not caring about such things hence the reason I was never passionate about anything.

                Right, I’m starting to digress here. So my first musical instrument that I went lessons for a good 5-6 years was a keyboard/organ/whatever you’d like to call it. It has two stacks of keys and a whole lot of synthesizers.

                I was 15 when my dad came back one day with a box almost as tall as him, I couldn’t remember the whole event but I think I didn’t show much interest in what was in the box. He then proceeded to open the box and surprisingly, out came a guitar which he handed to me along with a chord book. He said, “Here, learn how to play it” I fiddled with it for a few days but gave up when I found it too hard and my naturally short fingers didn’t help with the cause plus I didn’t have a tuner. And thus my Yamaha C40 classical guitar picked up dust for a whole year and now I have regretted doing so.

                Many other sorrowful, no, depressing events during boarding school life ensued and while trying to survive it all, I picked up the guitar. It was my cousins in Kuching who ignited my passion for the guitar, they taught me a simple lesson; transitioning between chords. From then on I progressed exponentially. The level of my guitar playing now, I owe it to them. Bless them.

                I would still consider myself an amateur as I only know how to play songs on the guitar, but to actually play the guitar is something I have not acquired yet. Yes I know how to play Classical Gas, and a bunch of other stuff but playing it is different than expressing it. This notion of mine is hard for some to contemplate because one might say there’s no difference between the two. My frustration is that I am not able to produce wonderful melodies or riffs of my own and I am confined to playing known songs.

                I do experiment with the guitar once in awhile, but I keep producing the same groove, almost a reminiscence of the last experiment each time I try something new. It’s very funny when people want me to pull off a solo and I’ll go, “I don’t really know how to do that” which would undermine my credential as an aspiring guitarist and make me and my guitar look bad.

                I have so many melodies and riffs in my head but perhaps my unwillingness to pen it down hamper my progress to produce songs of my own. If I push myself (which I have never done), it might also allow me to explore the more creative side of me. My time here in Land of Freedom would perhaps ignite the hidden composer in me or even help me discover that I have no talent in such a thing. Nonetheless, wish me luck in my endeavour towards music and its beauties!