Human Interactions... Sort of.
The male counterpart is a complex being to me. While I am aware that the human species ain’t that simple or straightforward, girls are more mysterious to me, maybe simply because I am not a female. Anyway, I already find that human interactions are very intricate, forcing me to adjust my way of communicating with people specific to each individual or a group of individuals.
Naturally, it’s easier for me to figure out or make an educated guess on what goes on in a person’s mind if that person is a male. It’s not 100% accurate but my chances are probably higher than figuring out what goes on in a girl’s mind and that is (well, duh) obviously due to the fact I’m a guy. I don’t exactly know what I’m trying to convey right now but what I do know is I want to talk about girls.
I found out some time ago, that girls react very favorably to me if I maintain eye contact with them, listening to them attentively and mirroring whatever they have to say. If you don’t know what’s mirroring go read Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Anyway, different girls give different reactions to this method of communicating that’s for sure, but all of them are very positive reactions. Some might feel awkward and be shy about it, or some would appreciate the fact that a person is giving their fullest to what she has to say, and there are those who avoid eye contact too.
And girls really appreciate it if I notice them wearing something new and telling them about it, or praising whatever subtle things they wear that guys don’t usually notice. This is not limited to people I know too, girls whom I’ve never spoken to also appreciate this gesture. Too bad they have boyfriends (they always have boyfriends don’t they?). Then I start receiving smiles and hi’s and bye’s from these girls but I never seem to have a conversation with them. This gesture should be blunt and direct, else they’ll know you have something else in your mind.
I have always believed that girls have this radar built into their brains to detect guys who are trying to flirt with them ever since my mom told me about it. I do wish my mom told me what happens when a girl do detect guys who wants her. Does the girl feel complimented? Or will she be annoyed? That remains a mystery to me.
For me, Malaysian (yes, Indian, Malay, Chinese, Bidayuh, Iban, whoever’s living in Malaysia) girls are easily approachable compared to Americans. Maybe it’s because of cultural differences. Let’s put it this way, if I was in a class that has American and Malaysian girls, and I don’t know any of them, I can think up of lots of ways to approach the Malaysians but the Americans? Not so much.
First of all, it’s hard to figure out what subject would interest them besides the class we’re taking. I tried talking about things other than class but they always seem uninterested or have no say about it, maybe I look boring or something. Setting physical appearance aside, most of them seem to not bother about anything other than class. I find it really frustrating that I can have a two hour conversation with Russian girls in Russia with the language barrier and all but I can’t do that with American girls who speak English.
But, I find that girls from liberal arts majors are easier to have conversations with than those from the science major. Don’t know about engineering though, haven’t met one yet. I keep wondering why there’s this difference between majors. I’m not dwelling too much into it though. Anyway, I guess my inability to interact with them is down to my lack of knowledge about America from an American standpoint.
I’m not a social butterfly too, I’m between an introvert and an extrovert, leaning more towards the introvert side. Sometimes I have trouble talking with new people, sometimes I don’t, really depends on how active my mind is that day. Now that I think about it, maybe it’s just me and not their fault, well it was never their fault, they’re just like that, and they can’t help it.
Oh well, I'll have to keep on looking for settings out of class to have conversations then.
Oh well, I'll have to keep on looking for settings out of class to have conversations then.
August 24, 2010 at 11:51 PM
August 25, 2010 at 12:05 AM
It's always exciting when it comes to this topic-Gender communication.It's one of my favourite subject.
You may want to read Deborah Tannen's You Just Don't Understand:Women and Men in Conversation,it might come in handy :P
and if you're a little more than curious,search for books under Gender studies/Language and Gender..
Happy reading XD