Sex Education

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                A few days ago, someone in my Facebook network put up a link about the Malaysian government’s proposal on implementing sex education starting from 6 year olds. The poster condemned it along with a few people on the poster’s network.

                One mentioned that teaching sex education to 6 year olds will teach them how to have sex. And yes I was riled up with that statement and there were a lot of reasons why, one of them being the inability to comprehend that someone with an above average academic level could come up with such a statement. I posted lengthy replies trying to enlighten these people what sex education really is, but I was still annoyed that the poster made those comments. I really shouldn’t have been ticked off so easily.

                I realized that I got worked up for no reason and that they were just uninformed. My days in working with UNICEF allowed me to encounter people like these but I didn’t expect those who are good enough to earn a scholarship to be thinking in such manner. Anyway, I’m not here to rant about my annoyance toward the poster because I realized something. If a person with that academic level compares sex education to Kama Sutra, what will be the opinion of others?

                The opinion of one does not reflect the general community and this may just be a hyperbolic statement but what if more than 70% of Malaysians think the same way? The only thing that worries me now is the mindset of the average Malaysians which honestly, don’t really sit on the bright side but I expected most of us to at least know what sex education really is.

                Now we ask the question, why or how did this perception of sex education came to being? One thing I noticed was that most people see sex education as a thing of a Western culture and the general view of Malaysians towards the West is more of a negative outlook. It’s funny, I think there are a lot of things from the West that we could take, no, should have. 

                I guess another reason why most people are against sex education is because of the word “sex”. Being a conservative community, the word sex is something most would avoid talking about. Buying a condom off the counter will raise many eyebrows, at least to those who are observing. It’s known that there are teachers who are teaching science or Biology have trouble teaching materials on reproductive systems, and I do think that the parents in Malaysia would have the same difficulty when talking about the birds and the bees with their children.

                So what’s the solution to this? I’m not sure of this, I could suggest a few but they would be the typical solutions. The problem here is mindset, an almost impossible task to change it. Perhaps we couldn’t change the mindsets of the present adults but we can try to instill it in the children today. The plan to implement sex education syllabus for 6 year old is going in the right direction. My only hope is that this proposal is executed properly and that the adults today do not play the role of a hindrance towards this development.

                It’s odd that the adults are the one that are hard to reach. One would just have to refer to the debacle hovering about the proposal in implementing English as the language for Math and Science. To reach to the adults we would have to figure out how do they receive information and what affects their decision in constructing their perception towards an idea. I guess it’s not wise to generalize the public. We should accept the fact that there are many types of people and we would like our message to be received by a multitude of targets.

                For now, we should probably focus on the future because maybe one day, we won’t have a situation of less than 40% of adults/parents who won’t have difficulty talking about the birds and the bees, who would know what advice to give to the young ones, to guide them to make informed choices.

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Happy Birthday Mommy

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Dear Mommy,
(This should be read while the song, “Ibu, Engkaulah Ratu Hatiku” is playing in the background)
Living here in the US has made me realize one thing, I’ve never personally made a Happy Birthday card for you or even a Mother’s Day card for you, not even when I was a small kid. You know, the card that’s supposed to have my scrummy little handwriting that says, “To the best Mommy in the world” or “I Love You Mom”. Ringin might have done a bunch, but not me. So here’s one for you.

I’ve done so many things to make other people happy, and of course you know the crazy things I do for Zee Avi but I’ve realized I’ve never went the same distance for you even though you did so many things for me, way too many things that I can’t keep track of. I’ve been trying to figure out how to make you feel the most special Mommy in the world but all I could manage was this wall of text.

All I could remember was making you worry all the time and the things you did for us.

When I broke my leg when I was just a toddler, I don’t know how worried you were at that time or what you were feeling. But I remembered you really took care of me, pushing me in my baby stroller just so I’m not left out from anything. There were only 5 of us at that time, me, Gegirl, Ria, you and Daddy.

When I was seven, when I first started primary school, remember the time when I didn’t come back even though it was 8pm? The day when my friend’s mother took him and me out for makan-makan, and when I got back, you were really glad to see me. You asked where I went and I nonchalantly said, “My friend’s mother took us out”. I don’t exactly remember how worried you were but now that I think about it, gosh, you must have been worried sick. And that was also my first time learning the word “permission”.

Then during the time when we had to move to Kuching, I remembered when we had to live apart, Gegirl, Ria and Coebar and I had to live with Daddy in Sarawak while Ringin and Scar had to live with you in KL, just so you and Daddy can still support us all as a family. We were home alone most of the time after school, Daddy had to work until evening, but he’s always home by seven. I don’t know how you felt at that time, not being able to see us as often, wondering how we were here and whatnot. I don’t think we even called you that often.

Then there was my teenage years, especially in boarding school. My hormones were raging wild and you had to deal with all the crap I put out. First year of boarding school was a pretty tough time for me and you and Daddy were affected as well. You’ve always had my needs and wants in check throughout those 5 years in boarding school. During fasting you came every weekend to give me food, so that I’m not stuck with breaking my fast with crappy Dewan Makan food.

You were always there when I needed you, always helping me out with petty little things while still dealing with my range of emotions. I remembered you offered advice when I had a crush on this girl, you even got presents for me to give to her but I never had the balls to give it to her. . Even now, when I’m a thousand miles from you, I seek help from you even if it’s just deciding on what to wear for an occasion. There’s no else I could turn to but you.

All of my good traits in managing and dealing with people come from you and Daddy. You’ve groomed me to be a gentleman, taught me how to dance, how to deal with girls, everything that’s good about me, I owe it to you.

I could list out 1% of all the things you did for me and not even the internet could hold that portion. And you have five other kids beside me. Every single thing you had to worry about me, every single sacrifice you did for me, you had to do it another 5 times, for the other five.

My guard is at my lowest with you Mommy, the only person who could make me cry without even trying to is you. I can’t recall the number of times I’ve cried in front of you, but I do know those are only the times I’ve ever cried. Even right now, while writing this, it takes so much effort not to let the tears flow freely. You’ve always said that I was a sensitive guy, I guess I am, but I am only that person when I’m with you or when it’s about you.

If everyone else in this world has forsaken me, I know I’ll still have you to turn to and that’s why you are and will always be the number one lady in my heart. No other girl, not even Zee Avi would be able to take your place.

I wished I could have been a much better son for you and do so much more for you. I don’t think I will ever be able to match the things you’ve done for me.

So here’s to you Mommy.

Thank you for everything you’ve done for me.

Happy Birthday,
Love,

Boboy

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It Needs Both Way To Work, But This Is My Side of The Story

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                The mind is a wonderful thing, complicated at times though. I sometimes wish I have the power to read minds, figuring out what’s going on in a person’s head so that I could plan my next move better. Some suggests reading body language is a way around it, but then I have to be trained to properly read a person like that show “Lie to Me”. I wish it were that easy to analyze a person, imagine all the things I could do!
                Sometimes, when I meet someone whom I rarely talk to or someone new, we’ll have eye contact and I get the feeling that the person wants to talk more but hesitates, and I’ve never made it any easier for the both of us because I hesitate too. Sometimes I get the feeling that the person wants to talk to me but the person can’t figure out what topic to talk about. That search for things to talk about goes in my head too sometimes.
                There’s never a sure-fire way to strike a conversation with someone, even with a person I know. I try to be myself every time but I forget that some might not be comfortable with what I do. The language I use is crude at times (especially if I speak in Malay, no profanity, just, crude), I speak my mind, I like to play with words and tease people. Most of the time it works, but sometimes, I have to make alterations and most of the time when I do make the alteration, it’s too late and everything becomes awkward. =/
                I wish there was a course in analyzing people, I would definitely take that.
               

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Raya

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                And so the month of Ramadan has passed, and the Eid celebration began, which always means one thing: Food overload. I didn’t gorge on much food last raya but this year, God, it’s almost like back at home, makan, makan, makan and makan. Luckily I’m able to hold myself back and consume only two servings each time there was an eating event. At least being able to spread out my eating time throughout the day helps in reducing the appetite.
                I couldn’t get to Skype with my family back in Malaysia because they’re in Perak and the internet connection there is horrible. I’m almost indifferent at the thought of having to celebrate Raya away from friends and family. I did manage to call them though, but that only lasted like less than half an hour because they’re at Opah Nyah’s house. I called my best friends, with each call lasting from 30 minutes to 3 hours during the night before Raya. It was awesome, slightly tiring but awesome nonetheless.
                Then there was the MYSA raya event, it was a very enjoyable occasion, everyone was smiling, laughing, and had a very good time. I enjoy sitting back and watching others enjoying themselves, I realize that this makes me look sort of a lonely and distant person but I just don’t feel the need to partake in the occasion. I think the feeling is like when an elderly person who smiles as he or she watches young children playing around. Ah, that does make me sound old though, oh well.
                The new raya song by Yuna is ohsem and catchy. Makes me want to dance every time it plays, even if it’s in my head. And Zee covered Saloma’s raya song, which made this year’s raya even more amazing.
                Only thing that bugs me is the possibility of me celebrating Raya alone the next year, without the company of other Malaysians. No food extravaganza, no salam-salam, no laughter during the first of Syawal, which would be slightly depressing. I’m still looking for those who aren’t going back for the summer, hopefully there won’t be many who are going back but the possibility of that happening is low.

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Selamat Hari Raya (Cover)

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Yuna - Raya Oh Yeah

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I'm loving this song so much, I'm putting in the effort to transribe the chords.

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Human Interactions... Sort of.

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                The male counterpart is a complex being to me. While I am aware that the human species ain’t that simple or straightforward, girls are more mysterious to me, maybe simply because I am not a female. Anyway, I already find that human interactions are very intricate, forcing me to adjust my way of communicating with people specific to each individual or a group of individuals.
                Naturally, it’s easier for me to figure out or make an educated guess on what goes on in a person’s mind if that person is a male. It’s not 100% accurate but my chances are probably higher than figuring out what goes on in a girl’s mind and that is (well, duh) obviously due to the fact I’m a guy. I don’t exactly know what I’m trying to convey right now but what I do know is I want to talk about girls.
                I found out some time ago, that girls react very favorably to me if I maintain eye contact with them, listening to them attentively and mirroring whatever they have to say. If you don’t know what’s mirroring go read Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Anyway, different girls give different reactions to this method of communicating that’s for sure, but all of them are very positive reactions. Some might feel awkward and be shy about it, or some would appreciate the fact that a person is giving their fullest to what she has to say, and there are those who avoid eye contact too.
                And girls really appreciate it if I notice them wearing something new and telling them about it, or praising whatever subtle things they wear that guys don’t usually notice. This is not limited to people I know too, girls whom I’ve never spoken to also appreciate this gesture. Too bad they have boyfriends (they always have boyfriends don’t they?). Then I start receiving smiles and hi’s and bye’s from these girls but I never seem to have a conversation with them. This gesture should be blunt and direct, else they’ll know you have something else in your mind.
                I have always believed that girls have this radar built into their brains to detect guys who are trying to flirt with them ever since my mom told me about it. I do wish my mom told me what happens when a girl do detect guys who wants her. Does the girl feel complimented? Or will she be annoyed? That remains a mystery to me.
                For me, Malaysian (yes, Indian, Malay, Chinese, Bidayuh, Iban, whoever’s living in Malaysia) girls are easily approachable compared to Americans. Maybe it’s because of cultural differences. Let’s put it this way, if I was in a class that has American and Malaysian girls, and I don’t know any of them, I can think up of lots of ways to approach the Malaysians but the Americans? Not so much.
                First of all, it’s hard to figure out what subject would interest them besides the class we’re taking. I tried talking about things other than class but they always seem uninterested or have no say about it, maybe I look boring or something. Setting physical appearance aside, most of them seem to not bother about anything other than class. I find it really frustrating that I can have a two hour conversation with Russian girls in Russia with the language barrier and all but I can’t do that with American girls who speak English.
                But, I find that girls from liberal arts majors are easier to have conversations with than those from the science major. Don’t know about engineering though, haven’t met one yet. I keep wondering why there’s this difference between majors. I’m not dwelling too much into it though. Anyway, I guess my inability to interact with them is down to my lack of knowledge about America from an American standpoint.
                I’m not a social butterfly too, I’m between an introvert and an extrovert, leaning more towards the introvert side. Sometimes I have trouble talking with new people, sometimes I don’t, really depends on how active my mind is that day. Now that I think about it, maybe it’s just me and not their fault, well it was never their fault, they’re just like that, and they can’t help it. 

             Oh well, I'll have to keep on looking for settings out of class to have conversations then.

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Thoughtless

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I haven’t been doing much thinking lately, deep thinking that is. Maybe it’s the summer season, or that may just be me trying to find an excuse. I just don’t feel like doing it, I don’t feel the need to take up a book and read it, or give more than five seconds of thought into an article. Everything I read was just skimmed through.
                Most of my actions are never thought out thoroughly as I used to, they’re always short-sighted these days. The other day I was eating at a Thai restaurant, I decided to eat outside but I didn’t think about the mosquitoes. Dinner was fun with the mosquitoes biting everywhere.
                Even when playing games on the PS3, I refuse to complete a puzzle-like challenge in Devil May Cry 3, which is odd since I usually just breeze through those. I gave up halfway, then played a mindless first person shooter game which only require reflex. Heck, I even gave up playing Metal Slug XX, and that required very minimal thinking!
                I know this is bad, not engaging my brain in something intellectual so to speak, especially 3 months of summer. This is going to be a very redundant post, man, I can’t even insert a meaningful post. I only hope that this won’t linger until classes start again.

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